Headline News

Check out this well written headline about a man who hit some lady:

"Woman Puncher Arrested"

Overheard in AmSam

On the plane out:

"Ma'am, you have to catch the vomit. You can't just hold your baby out over the aisle"

Fa'afa...ntastic

The fa'afafine ("like a woman") are a cultural institution in Samoan society. We would call them drag queens, but a typical Samoan's translation is probably much more accurate: "They're half uh...man and uh...half...uh...you know?"


In fact, I better just let the Prime Minister of Samoa explain:

*WARNING* this article is freakin' hilarious
http://talanei.com/viewNews.php?storyID=4104

Not the Preferred Nomenclature

There's something special about the headlines here.

"Why Samoa, Chinaman Tells" - Samoa Observer

Double Rainbow All the Way

Actual double rainbow over Pago Harbor.

Whoooooaaaaaa!!!

Soccer in Samoa

Congratulations to the new FIFA American Samoa soccer team! Especially those two lookers in the back.

From the actual FFAS.as website.

The More You Know

When two people have sex , the sperm builds up in the mother's stomach over time. When there is enough, it turns into a baby. After the baby is born, the goo that it is covered in is the excess sperm.

Samoan pregnancies can also last for much longer or much shorter than 9 months. Usually, this is due to the mother's sadness that the father was away for a long period of time.

I went to the hospital for a TB test, which is required for renewing my work contract. They gave the skin test, and when they took the needle out, it kept squirting. All over me, and in my mouth. Then we all laughed.

Laughed and laughed.

Because we didn't know the consequences, and by laughing, we all hoped to forget about what we were laughing about.

"The More You Know" segment states facts as told by American Samoans.

Cancer is a palagi disease, therefore Samoans do not need to worry about it.

Email From a Friend Trying to Sell His Scooter

Hello,

My name is Jeremy and I'm a recovering American Samoa resident. I'm still on island time and have not yet sold my old transportation device: a 2007 Honda 125 AMF scooter affectionately called the Poof Scoot 2.0. It's a good bike, has brand new brakes and I'm asking $1400. I've attached a photo of it here. When I was on-island, I met with several locals about the bike and will now answer their questions again, in order to minimize the anticipated email inquiries I expect to receive from you.

Yes, it is waterproof.

Yes, it uses gasoline.

Yes, you can buy the gasoline on island.

No, it is not a car.

No, it is not a truck either.

Yes, it has an engine.

It's currently housed somewhere in Tafuna. If you're interested, please contact EPA Nate to check it out.

Thanks, and good luck on the rock.

jer