Supplies!

Aaron, one of our criminal prosecutors, is leaving the island after two years here. He’s the first one to fully complete his contract in seven years. During that time he’s accumulated a lot of stuff, and now I’m here to act as scavenger.

Today I loaded up more junk than I thought possible. TV, DVD player, pots, pans, dishes, glasses, stereo system, ugly shirts, old books, and much much more. There’s so much stuff, that it’ll take weeks to set it all up and put it all away. The big project will be setting up the stereo, TV, and surround sound.

Which leaves me thinking…

I now have a million things to do, so that in the rare instances when I have nothing to do, I will have something to do.

Recession Proof

Need a job? No jobs available? Come to American Samoa, where a job will literally be created just for you, no matter how stupid it may sound.

Nate, our EPA attorney guru, told a fascinating story today. A month after he arrived, he still didn’t have a printer. Rather than wait any longer for the bureaucracy to move, he decided to physically carry the forms himself. He got the payment form which indicated that he would get a $650 printer. So he brought the form over to the supplies people, excited about the awesome $650 printer he would get, and instead received a very basic printer that wouldn’t cost $75 at home.

He then had to take the new printer to the office to have it numbered and registered. The office, of course, is on the other side of the island. He arrives to find a small room with five Samoans, all drinking coffee. Here’s what they do:

Employee 1 unwraps the box and takes out the printer.
Employee 2 notes the serial number on the printer and writes it in his book.
Employee 3 checks the printer against the payment form, to make sure it’s the right printer.
Employee 4 issues the printer an office inventory number.
Employee 5 checks Employee 4’s book against Employee 2’s book to ensure they are the same. He then makes a phone call and they all sit and wait.

About half an hour later, two more people drive up. One of them takes Employee 5’s book and reads off the new inventory number. The other writes the number on the side of the printer with a marker.

So, Employee 5 checks that number with the number written in his book. Employee 2 checks that number against the number written in his book. And Employee 1 puts the printer back in the box.

And that’s how the government is able to employ one third of the island.

Super Bowl XLIII

How about that Super Bowl? A 100 yard run by James Harrison, and a Pittsburgh win (boo). And a sneak preview of porn to those lucky viewers in Tuscon. But those commercials. They’re always the best.

I wouldn’t know. We got the Super Bowl here, live and everything. However, we didn’t get the commercials. American Samoa only runs their own commercials, but on Sundays, instead of commercials, they show scenes from church services around the island. So, during the breaks in the game, I saw a few masses, a candle light vigil, and a funeral. I was feeling so holy that I believe I called out the Lord’s name during every break.